Blogging · Personal

Coming to an end

The last time I went to JB was January 26. And the last place I visited was Chengdu. And little do we know, 2020 is about to come to an end.

What have I achieved so far?
– I have lost 5kg ever since WFH
– I got engaged exactly 2 years after
– I’ve been accepted by an institute to continue my study (more like… switching career)
– I have forgiven people who have backstabbed me but will never forget what they have done
– Slowly donning hijab

What am I looking forward in 2021?

I don’t know… It is hard to predict the future, right? But InsyaAllah, I will try my best to save more money as I only have a year more to plan for my next big day.

I only want a simple nikah and wedding ceremony.

Ever since I have gone back to school, most of the time I am occupied at home doing reading and spend more time with my little nephew. Oh forgot to mention! My nephew was born three days after my engagement ceremony. He’s probably too excited to come out early. He will turn 5 months on December 14.

Let’s hope 2021 will be a better year. Let us hope every country has found its vaccine. Let us hope for the best. Always believe in God’s work. He knows better than us.

Till then,
much love 💜

Blogging · Personal

My hijrah journey

I was lost in a deserted area with my mom. I told her that I want to change, and I want to don hijab. I would like to learn more about my religion. But then something happened.

I couldn’t find dad and my brother. In fact, there were only little kids and women (mothers and old women), running around – some were asking for help and young girls were trying to find men, in whatsoever ways to earn some cash.

I saw an Imam and approached him. Asked him, where did all the men go? I was in disbelief when he told me most men have gone to war. Again, I asked “What war?

“The end is here.” I stood in silent. I told Imam I’d like to seek forgiveness, I want to repent.

Felt like we were back in neolithic era. No smartphones, no tv. Not even a bloody car. I didn’t know how to contact my dad. I stopped a lady from running and asked why is it almost all young girls are doing prostitution, gambling & etc?

“What is there to lose? Everyone is going to hell anyway. Might as well sin.”

And I heard sangkakala…

I woke up with tears, rolling on my cheeks. I looked around my bed, finding my phone.

Every single day I sujud and pray to Allah, asking for forgiveness and each time I pray, I ask for a sign, a hidayah for me to open up and hijrah to be a better muslimah.

My heart felt a little bit heavy at first. I mean, what if I couldn’t find any acting job anymore because I’ve donned hijab? What if my then boyfriend decided to leave me? What will society think about me?

Few weeks before my engagement, on our way out to find rings, I told him about my dream. I asked for his opinion bout me donning hijab. “If you’re not ready, then don’t force yourself. But, learn. Slowly. And you’ll adapt to it.”

I wasn’t quite sure either if it was a good idea to just don on my engagement day. True what my friends say “do it slowly.

Though there are times I feel like giving up, today marks one month of me donning hijab. I mean, up till now I question myself about the dream, “Is that the sign from God? Or is it just another bad dream?”

But that dream changed my life. Change the way I pray, the way I see rizq and everything. That dream somehow has shifted me to be a better person. InsyaAllah, I am learning to be a better muslimah too. Not to mention, my heart is at ease, to know Allah hears my prayers, hears me, even in sleep.

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَىٰ عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ – 24:31

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. [An Nur: 24-31]

Blogging · Personal

Betrothal: 11072020

Two years ago, someone decided to make me his girlfriend, without even asking “Do you want to be my girlfriend?“. I guess he is too old for that.

And today, we are engaged. Who knew, this day would come.

I asked for no event, no gifts. We are still in pandemic, so better be safe than sorry. Also… I have too many bags now 😛

Alhamdulillah, (rezeki) my colleague and his wife sent a box of lompat tikam, one of my favorite Malay desserts and future mother-in-law gave marble cake and grazing platter.

I am all over the moon. No words could describe how happy I am right now. Allah somehow has answered my prayer when I was at Jabal Rahmah (Mount of Mercy) 3 years ago. Allah Maha Besar, Maha Mengetahui.

I will strive to be a better Muslimah, less cengeng (cry baby) and help my family in whatever I can at the moment.

And… I am a barista now! Part-time je lah. Cari duit kahwin katakan.

Baking · Cooking · Food · homemade

3-ingredient lazy doughnuts

Hello assalamualaikum everyone! I am not sure what’ve got into me recently. Probably I am out of ideas on what to cook or bake since we all are going through a bloody circuit breaker. And Ramadan is ending soon (so sad but we will meet again next year, insyaAllah).

I made lazy doughnuts today.

Why do I call these mini doughnuts lazy doughnuts? Cause I only use three ingredients! And I’m not using any yeast so I don’t have to wait for hours, waiting for the dough to rise *inserts laughing emoji*.

INGREDIENTS
1 cup of raising flour
1 cup of plain yoghurt (not 1 cup full, like 80% of it) (alternately, you can use soy yoghurt)
1tbsp of baking powder (can use baking soda too)

METHODS
1. Mix all ingredients into one bowl. Mix gradually by using a spatula. Your dough will be quite sticky so if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t use hands.
2. Replace dough into a piping pipe. Give a small cut on the edge.
3. Add in some oil in the saute pan, medium heat. Once the oil is hot, squeeze the dough in the piping pipe and cut it into small pieces or circle.
4. Once the doughnuts have changed color to golden brown (below), toss out and let it cool for an hour before you pour your glaze.

Now… for the sugar glaze, I only use 5tbsp of cane sugar and 4tbsp of water.

On a skillet, put both ingredients and simmer slowly with low heat. This will take time. At first the sugar + water will look kinda watery but as you continue simmering, it will become thicker and the sugar will start to boil too. At this point, turn off the heat, toss in your doughnuts and coat the doughnuts until the sugar has dry. Like this (below photo).

You can also coat your doughnuts with melted chocolate or buttered color rice too. I had mine with sugar glaze and kaya jam.

Simple and easy right? Hope you enjoy and try it out at home with your kids!

Asian Food · Cooking · Dessert · homemade

Spicy Crunchy Cornflakes

Hi assalamualaikum everyone!

Initially I wanted to bake cornflakes cookies but I couldn’t find any flour around my area. Even online grocery sites are out of stock too. I ended up making spicy crunchy cornflakes or in Malay, we call it kudapan cornflakes. Some might call it cornflakes bercili (cili is chili).

Remark!

I don’t really measure my ingredients when I cook. I agak-agak (estimate).

INGREDIENTS
1 box of cornflakes (i used medium size, 250g)
curry leaves (the more the better)
6-7tsp curry powder (you can use either chicken or fish curry powder. i use baba’s chicken curry powder)
1tbsp of sugar
1/2 tsp of salt
roasted peanut (optional)
sliced garlics (optional)
6-8 dried chilies (cut slanting)
olive oil (or any type of oil)

METHODS
1. Put 2tbsp of oil into your hot wok and fry your cornflakes batch by batch (this step is to make sure your cornflakes be extra crunchy & crispy). Fry for about a minute for each batch and put aside.
2. Fry the sliced garlics, dried chilies and curry leaves together, medium heat. Once fried, put aside.
3. Sangai (a method of cooking whereby spices are fried without using oil) curry powder, sugar and salt at the same time in a very low heat. Once the color changes, add in cornflakes, curry leaves, dried chilies and sliced garlic.
4. Turn off the stove, and let it cool at a bowl.

This is my spicy crunchy cornflakes, approved by my aunt, sister-in-law and dad. Hope you guys try it at home!

Baking · Dessert · Food · homemade

Easy recipe – Apple cinnamon cake

Assalamualaikum everyone! As you know today is Mother’s Day and of course as a child, you would want to shower your mom with unconditional love and gift her a bouquet of flowers, or chocolates or perhaps a Pandora bangle & etc. And since we are under quarantine aka circuit breaker, all confectionery stores are closed until further notice.

Even Starbucks and Coffee Bean are not selling cakes at the moment. I thought of getting a bag for mom (i always shop at shopbop.com) but I don’t wanna go through the risk of waiting and then my moods go off (pandemic moment, so oversea shipping might be delayed).

So I baked her a cake – apple cinnamon cake.

Now here’s the thing – my initial plan was to bake orange cake but I couldn’t get all ingredients at two different supermarkets. Baking needs and ware are out of stock (literally everywhere around my area). And since I have leftover stocks of wheat flour, why not improvise a little bit. I used whatever ingredients I have at home.

INGREDIENTS
250g (2 3/4 cups) wheat flour – sieved/sifted
1 cup of castor sugar
3/4 cup of unsalted butter (softened)
2 large eggs (3 eggs if you use small eggs)
a pinch of salt
1 tsp of ground cinnamon
1tsp of vanilla extract
2 tsp of baking powder
1 cup of plain yoghurt (i used organic yoghurt)
3 cherry apples

METHODS
1. Peel one apple and chop into small pieces (not too small, in cube). The remaining two apples, cut them into thin slices (throw the core away & do not peel the skin). To prevent your apple from turning brow, dip into lemon juice or soak in salt water.
2. Beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Then, add egg one by one and vanilla extract. Continue beating.
3. Add in flour, salt, baking powder and ground cinnamon. Stir well.
4. Slowly add in chopped apple and yoghurt. Give them a good stir.
5. Preheat oven for 10 minutes, 170 degree celsius.
6. Place baking sheet on your tray (i used 7″ square tray) and grease it with a little bit of olive oil.
7. Pour the mixture in the tray and be sure the top is level. Then, arrange the slices apple on top and sprinkle the remaining ground cinnamon and castor sugar (mix them well) on top of the apple slices.
8. Bake for 50 minutes or least 45 minutes. Use a skewer to check if the cake is already bake. If it’s cleaned, you may take your cake out.
9. Let the cake cool down before cutting or transfer it on your cake rack.

Asian Food · Cooking · Dessert · homemade

Youtiao/Cakoi recipe

I recently made youtiao (we call it cakoi in Malay) and I swear… the hardest part (for me) is waiting for the yeast to expand. You have to get the accurate lukewarm water. No more, no less. Or else you will kill the yeast.

I had to redo four times in order to get it right.

Almost there! Anyway, here’s the recipe to make simple and easy youtiao.

INGREDIENTS
2 cups of wheat flour
1tsp of yeast
1 1/2 tbsp of olive/canola oil
2 tbsp of sugar (i use cane sugar)
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 of lukewarm water

METHODS
1. In a bowl, add in lukewarm water together with sugar and yeast. Mix well and let it rest for 20 minutes, in room temperature. (i covered the bowl with cling wrap, easy & faster)
2. In another bowl, add in flour, salt and oil. Once the yeast has expanded (like above photo), add it in. Mix well till it becomes a dough. It’s okay if it’s a little bit sticky.
3. Let it rest for 60 minutes in a room temperature.
4. On a board, gently sprinkle some flour and roll the dough. Flatten it with a roller till you get an oblong shape.
5. Cut the dough to small pieces. Dip a wood skewer into water and mark a straight line in between 2 youtiao pieces and then glue them together. They will look like the picture below.
6. Next, heat up your wok with oil in medium heat.
7. Pull the youtiao a little longer from its original shape to let the air out. Fry till golden brown.

Your youtiao will look like these. Best eat with hot soya or hot coffee or melted kaya spread. Enjoy!

Baking · Dessert · Food · homemade

2-ingredient cake

Day 12 of circuit breaker. And everyday I experience with different type of dish, but most of the time mom will be doing the cooking (since I have to work from home).

This evening I made 2-ingredient cake and since my birthday is just around the corner, why not pamper myself with some happiness (for tummy).

We only need a pack of semi-chocolate chip and 4 eggs (grade A would be better but you can use large/omega one too!)

  1. Start off with a bag of choco chip (i use the whole bag, 340g). Melt it off in microwave for 30-40 secs. Mix well and let it cool, leave aside.
  2. Crack 4 eggs and separate the yolks and white in two different bowls.
  3. For the white yolks, use hand mixer to whisk till you get that fluffy peak foam.


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  4. Add yolks, one by one and mix well with melted chocolate. Then, slowly add in the egg whites.
  5. Pour the batter in a greased pan (i used 8′ square pan).

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  6. Bake for 30 minutes, with 170 degree celsius.
  7. Let it cool for 1-2 minutes then sprinkle with either icing sugar or powdered sugar.

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I used brown sugar and blend till soft/powdery.

Check out my 15 second videos on Instagram highlights for more random meal or dish!

This is a gluten-free dessert.

Asian Food · Dessert · Food · homemade

Ondeh-ondeh keledek (sweet potato)

Circuit breaker has turned me into a diligent person lately.

And so I made ondeh-ondeh keledek (sweet potato). My first attempt by the way. I wanted to make two flavors – keledek and pandan but you know lah some Singaporeans unleashed their kiasi and kiasu attitude – they hoard almost everything they could.

I managed to get a pack of sweet potatoes (last few) and yesterday, with no skills, nothing, I ventured in making one. These are the things I used for my ondeh-ondeh:

Ingredients:
2 sweet potatoes (peel off skin)
150g glutinous rice flour
1 tbsp wheat starch
120ml water
6pcs mini gula melaka (palm sugar)
200g desiccated coconut (you can use kelapa parut too)
a pinch of salt

Methods:
1. Peel the (sweet potatoes/keledek) skins off before boiling. Boil them till they are lembik (soft)
2. Steam the desiccated coconut for about 15-20min
3. While waiting for keledek and desiccated to settle down, cut gula melaka into small pieces or smash them
4. Squash/smash the keledek and mix well with the glutinous rice flour & wheat starch till it becomes a dough
5. Take a small amount of the dough and make a ball out of it. Press with your thumb into the ball till it becomes a little flatten and put in 1/2 teaspoon of gula melaka in it. Then, re-ball it again.
6. Boil them into a hot pot. Once float, cool them off before coating them with smooth desiccated coconut.

There! That’s my ondeh-ondeh keledek. Easy to prep and cook/make. Attached below is a video I made for fun so that everyone in my reading list can enjoy watching… even though I am still quite amateur in video editing.

Stay safe everyone!

Blogging · Personal

Lepak Live: Was-Wasan 2020

One random night, I sent an e-mail to Lepak Live, asking if they are still looking for a stagehand. Promptly, they replied and in December, I attended my very first meeting with them and others.

This was my second time to work in a theatre production. The last time I did when I was probably 18 or 19 years old.

Who doesn’t know Bonda Bedah and Mak Temah? The comedy duo Hafidz Rahman and Zuhairi Idris.

Rehearsals started in the mid of December but stagehands came in only in January. So we had 1 month to rehearse and brainstorm on how to carry this and that on stage and such. (also, i got to make new friends) On our last rehearsal at C42, I suddenly had an emotional breakdown in the toilet and on the bike. It happened so quick, I even tried to avoid everyone.

Kudos to Hafidz and Zuhairi. They deserved all the credits, applause and everything. The hard work they have put in for their 3 nights show just for their fans – is superb.

I was there throughout their 12 sketches rehearsals. I witnessed everybody’s stress, I even had mine too.

There were 11 sketches altogether and my favorite? Definitely Siti No Hal scene. Why? Because all departments contributed on that scene and good job to the wardrobe team for making the outfit happening!

I had a talk with one of the wardrobe crews and he told me he improvised so many things in that outfit. First take – it took about 7 minutes for Zuhairi to wear the whole set. Then it went down to 5, went up again to 7 and on bump-in – less than 3 minutes, or lesser than that. (team effort!)

On our last rehearsal at C42, I woke up with unstable emotions and scrambled thoughts in my head. Headed to office to grab couple of newspapers and then, I started to cry while setting up things in the rehearsal room.

My second favorite sketch – Funeral. One thing for sure throughout the whole 3 shows, I clearly remember the corpse (one of the dancers) was giggling underneath the kain batik and Zuhairi went off “Mayat ni kesejukan ke?” and he looked underneath that kain everybody started to laugh. It was so spontaneous and I did not expect that to happen.

There was this one particular day, I sat down with Zuhairi and another stagehand, Saffy and I asked “Why Tampines Hub?”

“Esplanade has around 1500 seats and we’re afraid we won’t be able to sell all the tickets out…” and the conversation goes on. I told him (not sure if Hafidz was around, i was facing the other side) “Zu, this theatre has 400 seats, right? And you are doing three shows and you have sold 1200 seats, am i right? You guys are well established – people know Bonda Bedah Mak Temah and you have so many fans out there not only in Singapore! You have fans in Malaysia, in Indonesia! These people are dying to see both of you perfoming live. Do not be worried about if tickets dapat jual ke tidak. I can assure tak sampai satu hari all tickets sold out cepat. Look! Kita buka at 9 am around noon je tinggal sikit, right?”

I have faith in these two guys. Ni bukan bodek. Everything that is written on my blog is all real. Not paid review and such.

These guys can go way much more farther, but I hope they don’t join Maharaja Lawak. I believe in their talents and original contents.

I am definitely gonna miss this moment. Every sweat, every tear, every argument, every stress and every journey I went through with this team is definitely worth it. Knowledge is unstoppable and this project has given me so many experiences in just three months.

InsyaAllah we will able to work together again in the future. I love each one of you!